1. Coaches
A sad story from Kentucky of a kid who was killed during football practice. His coach ordered him to run sprints on a boiling hot day and he died of heat exhaustion. The coach was tried and acquitted and now wants to know when he can coach again. It's like if OJ's first question after his acquittal was "When is it okay for me to date again?"









2. Rudeness
A new poll shows that Americans are becoming more and more rude. I guess conservatives are right, we are becoming more and more like Europe.



3. Girls

The girls at a school in New Jersey every year make a list of the sluttiest sluts in their sluttin high school, and pass it around 100's of times. Amazing for several reasons; one they actually use paper instead of texts and two THEY ARE PROUD TO BE ON THE LIST! Ladies the reason you win the human race is in you have the power to deny men sex. Embracing the concept of being a slut is like Napoleon abdicating his throne...if it were made out of vaginas.








4. Childbirth
A woman in Toledo had in vitro fertilization. She got pregnant. It's not hers?
Turns out the embryos belonged to another woman. So once Carolyn Savage gives birth she has to give the baby over to its biological parents. I'm sure a HUGE settlement is coming their way, A small price for splitting yourself open, removing a small human, and having to then give it to a complete stranger. On a sidenote anyone who thinks childbirth is beautiful has never seen it from the business end.







5. News Reporters

Most boring news report quickly becomes the most unprofessional. Yes it's kind of funny, but physical comedy is for the proles.